Sweetest escape

inspiration

2011-11-14T00:44:00.002+08:00

Finding the inspiration to blog once more is so tough
after all its been so long since I last blogged
some how I just feel like my life is a plateau now
I need to find my spark back and maybe this is how I will find it
I'm making a promise to revamp this place and make it better
and strive to blog more often!
right now I'm signing off so that I won't write about my confused state now

incompetence

2011-06-09T10:19:00.002+08:00

Don't blame others for your own incompetence
Just because you couldn't finish anything and had to find sm other person to blame it on
You're such a 2-faced bastard and I believe you'll have karma
You'll rot in hell
Ok angst aside I've been pretty busy with work and all
Barely have enough time for myself and all for what??
spending money! Right money shall be my motivation
Things haven't been all that good
But I know its just the bits and pieces of life where there will be ups and down
we can't always have everything the way we want it
just gotta learrn to accept everything and carry on with my life

depression

2011-04-17T15:08:00.002+08:00

right now when I'm writing this I'm just tearing
started tearing for no apparent reason or maybe I do know the reason
because I made a decision to kill a part of me
only now then I decide to think about it
part of me already feels dead and feel like giving up
tired of actually having to deal with lies and deception
telling white lies which end up worse when I find out the actual truth

On a side note:
I hate cheating girls
if you have a damn bf dont do anything that will label you as a cheater
dont cross the boundary with any other guy
its fine if you go out with another guy
as a friend and not a date
you can hang out and have lunches and all
but to progress to have a more physical relationship with the guy
( not till the sexual part mind you )
while still being with your other bf who is actually in the army
is just being a downright cheater and I will label you as a slut
seriously cross me once more you little cunt
and I will give you a piece of my mind in person
you fugly little cheating slut
go call your own bf sexy instead of everyone elses' bf
you think I dont know what you had in mind when you first got to know him
I actually do know and mind you I dont give a lot of chances
when I do give it to you take it and be careful
I do not condone vixens and sluts

remember

2011-04-15T15:23:00.001+08:00

This day I will remember forever and I may live to regret it
The pain it will give me will be more than anything else.

disappointment

2011-04-08T00:43:00.003+08:00

you're no different from the others, just a disappointment all over again
betrayal hurts the most and lies are no better
the more you hide, the more stuff that I'll eventually find out
there is only a fine line between love and hate
and there is only one chance to salvage it

Love, love is like a stubborn youth
That you'd rather just deny
I'm walking on a broken roof
While I'm looking at the sky

It's all false love and affection
You don't want me
You just like the attention
Yes it's all false love and affection
You don't like me
You just want the attention

I'm not your toy
This isn't another girl meets boy

Love, love hides in a smoky light
And I can never find the truth
Boy, your touches leave me mystified
And I wish I could believe in you

Yes it's all false love and affection
You don't want me
You just like the attention
Yes it's all false love and affection
You don't like me
You just want the attention

I'm not your toy
This isn't another girl meets boy

It's all false love and affection
You don't want me
You just like the attention
Yes it's all false love and affection
You don't like me
You just want the attention

I'm not your toy
This isn't another girl meets boy

effort

2011-03-17T20:22:00.004+08:00

Effort

One small word but means so much
there's no point? I guess thats how you view it only
I doubt anyone else thinks its no point
just shows how much you care thats all

aside from that today is my 3rd day of work at pedder red
which is located at ngee ann city level 3
if you dont know where is ngee ann city
go kill yourself cause its the shopping mall
where everyone calls it takashimaya because of the department store
anyway the boutique I'm working at is just next to juicy couture
so basically I get to drool at pink stuff all day long :D
gonna be at pedder red till end of april
and that will be the end of my part time stint
then I'll get to work at on pedder at level 2
which is basically a higher class version of pedder red
managed by the same company and on pedder carries designer shoes
shoes such as louboutins, LANVIN, Balenciaga, Valentino,
Alexander McQueen *drools*, chloe and stuff
so I can't wait to work at on pedder
then I get to wear gorgeous shoes for work
and when there's the sale where major reductions in price occur
Imma be shoe shopping and getting myself a nice comfy pair of heels
and hello to staff discounts even when there's no sale :D
awesome max heh :D
anyway back to talking about my work
its real enjoyable cause I have nice colleagues
its like we keep laughing at so many nonsensical stuff
plus we see those indonesia rich tai tai whom we call ibu(?)
where they come in and just buy stuff without caring about anything else
well tomorrow is my off day
shall have a good day's rest so that I can be geared up for the weekend
where colleagues tell me it gets quite hectic on the weekends
so I hope that the weekends' sales will be great
so that the supervisor will be less mean heh
ok off to relax somehow :D

When you gonna stop breaking my heart
I don't wanna be another one
Paying for the things I never done
Don't let go
Don't let go to my love
Can I get to your soul
Can you get to my thoughts
Can you promise we won't let go
All the things that I need
All the things that you need
You can make it feel so real
Cause you can't deny
You've blown my mind
When I touch your body
I feel I'm losing control
Cause you can't deny
You've blown my mind
When I see you baby
I just don’t wanna let go
I hate to see you cry
Your smile is a beautiful lie
I hate to see you cry
My love is dying inside
I can fix all those lies
But baby, baby I run, but I'm running to you
You won't see me cry, I'm hiding inside
My heart is in pain but I'm smiling for you
Can I get to your soul
Can you get to my thoughts
Can you promise we won't let go
All the things that I need
All the things that you need
You can make it feel so real
Cause you can't deny
You've blown my mind
When I touch your body
I feel I'm losing control
Cause you can't deny
You've blown my mind
When I see you baby
I just don’t wanna let go
When you gonna stop breaking my heart
Don't let go
Don't let go to my love
I hate to see you cry
Your smile is a beautiful lie
I hate to see you cry
My love is dying inside
I can fix all those lies
But baby, baby I run, but I'm running to you
You won't see me cry, I'm hiding inside
My heart is in pain but I'm smiling for you
Oh baby I'll try to make the things right
I need you more than air when I'm not with you
Please don't ask me why, just kiss me thïs tïme
My only dream ïs about you and I

IT show

2011-03-10T09:43:00.001+08:00

First day of IT show and I'm at Acer booth again :D
4th floor Acer booth under Newstead heh :D
this time I shall earn big bucks as always
really love IT shows even though it can be a lil tiring
plus the one vice I have while working there
O well gotta head to work now!
Wish me luck! :D

being in love

2011-03-09T18:37:00.001+08:00

phuket

2011-02-22T01:10:00.001+08:00

Ok jetting off to phuket in 7 hours
I promise to come back and revamp my blog and post up missing entries :D
Can't wait to be back on friday even though its at midnight :)

day out at sentosa

2011-01-11T23:57:00.001+08:00

Spent the day out with the boy at Sentosa and Vivo
walking along the beach and relaxing
plus acting as tourists in Sentosa for the day
was really really fun I swear
went to play Luge twice with the boy
and out raced him a little heh
the sykride was a little nerve wrecking though
cause the ride kept stopping when it was bringing us to the top
didn't feel really safe with my feet dangling mid air
but I made it to the top in the end
while the boy had to suffer a little
cause I spent quite a few times screaming =X
played luge twice so we had to take the skyride twice too
but I could say I conquered my fear of it the 2nd time

Luge chop on me and the boy's hand

Then we decided to walk around and walked to the Merlion
and walked to the Imbiah lookout place
and decided the butterfly park wasn't worth it
so we headed to check out the 4D Cinemax thingy
but they didn't have much choices for the experience
cause there were only 3 choices plus the long queue
we went to underwater world instead
cause I was whining on how I wanted to see dolphins

Our ticket stubs : Luge & Underwater World

So the boy agreed and off we went :D
first thing we did once we entered was going to the touch pool
we touched everything in the touch pool
which included sting rays, puffer fish, bamboo shark
heh it was a pretty fun experience
the rays and puffer fish were slippery and slimy
while the shark skin was definitely rough
there was also an annoying boy around
if I'm not wrong he was a tourist from India
not being racist or anything
but he kept punching his fist into the touch pool
and caused water to splash everywhere
and he did it REPEATEDLY
and the water almost splashed us everything
thankfully we had fast reflexes to evade it
seriously bad manners and lousy upbringing
didn't his parents teach him not to disturb other people?
ok shall not talk about stupid people anymore
after that went to feed the sting rays!
paid $3 for the feed and it was an awesome experience
the sting rays will really suck your fingers to get the food
and they were gigantic compared to the ones in the touch pool
they were like at least 1m wide
but still really nice to touch
then there was this Indian lady tourist
who decided to take our feed to feed the rays
but then the boy told her off saying you have to pay for it
kinda dumb right? like hello there were posters around
saying that you can feed the sting rays if you pay
its like they don't know how to read
and guess we just came on the wrong day
cause there was the whole bunch of tourists from India
and they were making such a big racket
ok sorry that I sidetracked again on stupid people
anyway the sting rays are real smart I'm telling you
if you have food all of the rays swarm towards you
and they will splash you with water to ask for food
prety cute and smart of them!
After we also went to feed these orange fish
(forgot what their names were my bad)
damn greedy fish I daresay
and they gobbled the fish feed with a pop sound
real cute of them
After that we went to have a look at the exhibits
and we saw shark eggs in different stages
it was really cool cause you can see the fetus moving about
the photo is below but its not real clear I guess

Shark Egg! The lil pink tadpole thingy is the shark fetus

Then we went to this exhibit that was damn cold
and we saw angel fish that are so cute!
ok they aren't fish but in fact are snails
but they just have the name called angel fish
cause they have fins and they flap it
making the little creatures look like angels!
hence angel fish :D
ok the photo isn't very clear again I know
but deal with it or go google for a clearer picture

Cute Angel fish!

Also there were pretty sea dragons
there were 2 types though
the brown one and the yellowish-green one
so pretty :D

Pretty sea dragons

So after that we went downstairs to view the other exhibits
and I see gigantic spider crabs
the ones that are actually edible and prized in Japan
they were huge and had super long legs!
after that we saw this exhibit with isopods in it
its like the creatures in deception point
if you read the book
and they were just stacking on top of each other
so I'm guessing they are procreating

Weird isopods consummating :P

After that we went to the tunnel exhibit
which has a travelator to go through it
and we see all these giant fishes
with sharks and everything
we saw a lot of giant groupers
the edible type again which is like prized in chinese cuisine
and costs a lot to eat everyone
I see live ones a lot in hong kong restaurants
but still a little smaller than the ones at underwater world
so me and the boy were joking
saying we should come back after hours
and dive into the tank to catch the grouper and cook it
then he told me what if the sharks come and attack us?
so I said we should have a spear with us
and if the sharks come and attack us
we can spear them and we get shark fin
but obviously its just a joke
and I linked all the giant fishes we saw to food
was because I was real hungry then
and I didn't much of a lunch

The giant grouper which is a delicacy :D heh

AFter we came out we wanted to make out way to vivo for dinner
and there was this pretty male peacock
so I couldn't help but snap pictures of it
then he started to make this sounds
I'm assuming he's calling his hens to him
cause there were a lot of females around
and I saw peacock chicks
the chicks were so cute and so tiny
compared to their parents that is
the picture below is definitely of the male peacock
cause he has the colorful tail feathers
I took some pictures of the females but I'm too lazy to upload

Pretty peacock!

So after that we headed to Vivo
where Abel & Terry came to meet us
but since we were going for dinner
the 2 of them decided to shop while we ate
then the boy decided to eat at The Queen & Mangosteen
so off we went and he had pork rack and rib eye for me
the food was pretty okay and the thick cut fries were real nice
thats in my opinion cause I like thick fries
crispy on the outside and soft on the inside
service was not bad there and the ambience was great
plus we had Pim & Lemmonade
which is like a deceptive alcohol cocktail
drank at least half of it and I think it tastes like toothpaste
cause it was just too minty I guess
and after the drink I turned red again
ok fine I'll admit I'm alcohol intolerant
O well doesn't matter anyway cause I don't like alcohol that much
so after walking around for a little while more
the 4 of us cabbed back to pasir ris
where I was delivered at my place first
and the boys headed to have some bro-mance time
the day was real awesome and I really had fun
Love the boy for giving in to my every whims! <3

P.S The boy told me to add this in
he lost his oakley shades at underwater world
and some Indian tourist took it
I think that the tourist is such a greedy person
just return the sunglasses to the information counter
it ain't that hard it just shows how educated they are
taking things that don't belong to them
and splashing water at other visitors

4 months

2011-01-10T23:13:00.002+08:00

Happy 4 months baby boy!

Time really passes so fast and now its 4 months since me and they boy got together
really really love spending time with him!
Even though we quarrel and fight sometimes too
its because we're not perfect and nobody is
but nonetheless I still love him very very much <3

Went to catch a movie with the boy and jian nan and chun how at downtown east
caught gulliver's travels and its a pretty good show I think
its witty and funny and its a really nice movie to catch with friends too
went home after that which was pretty much at like 10 plus at night
still being grounded and no late nights allowed :(
Cause of me being late home on rebel night :(
Really sums up my boring day cause spent my whole noon at home
and only the movie at night
well at least the movie perked me up :D
plus getting to spend some time with the boy was awesome too!

new year

2011-01-01T23:52:00.002+08:00

Happy new year everyone!

Spent the start of the new year at Tanyoto at liang court
eating steamboat with the family
saw fireworks from the restaurant and it was an awesome meal
but even though its new year's day
still had to spend my day working :(
but at least there's only one more day left
its something worth looking forward to :D
then I'll get to spend some quality time with the boy and friends
plus I can finally do some decent SHOPPING!
and prepare my uber late xmas presents omg :S

love the boy to bits for getting me bubble tea when he came yesterday
to find me at work :D
its no wonder I'm getting fat!
but o well its worth it :D

2010

2010-12-31T23:59:00.002+08:00

2010 can be said as one of the worst years ever
Started the first day of school with a broken heart
and brawling in school during every lesson
followed by feeling depressed and suicidal at one point
almost falling out with bestie
grandmother passed away a week before my birthday
and having to go through A levels
but it wasnt all that bad either
I bonded with the girls C D G more
plus found a new boy who is Kaiden Teo :)
I guess somethings ain't worth moping over
if the old bad things don't go
new good things won't happen :)
right now I just wish for a peaceful 2011
and hope that my life will stop being a roller coaster
I just want to have less ups and downs in my life
and thats all :)

HAPPY NEW YEAR'S EVE FOLKS! <3

merry xmas

2010-12-25T23:55:00.002+08:00

Merry Christmas everyone!

Spent the start of christmas with the boy and Shan
had a great start to christmas but a bad end to it
ended up brawling for half the day
then headed to DTE with shan and K and Abel
to meet the Germans Jens & Lukas and gfs and sis for bowling
but I didnt bowl after all and ended up played pool
I can say that today really sucked bad
even though its supposed to be christmas and joyful
o well dont let my bad mood dampen all you folks out there
have a blast today!

surprise visit

2010-12-21T23:57:00.002+08:00

Today was a pretty awesome day :D
D & G came over and decided to surprise me at work!
Awesome friends I swear :D
spent the day mostly hanging with them instead of working :P
went to pizza hut to eat and headed to the arcade to play
and now I got them hooked to the arcade which is my bad
the 3 of us took neoprints
which I haven't taken in ages
really miss taking neoprints cause they are like so fun
with us being able to do any pose we like
really feels good to hang out with them
we should do this more often D & G !
I know you'll read this anyway so yupp
I'm telling you right here :D
no matter what happens
if you fall into a pit, try to pick yourself up
and get out of the pit and you'll see a rainbow :)
we'll be here for you dear girl :)

3 months

2010-12-10T23:44:00.002+08:00

Happy 3 months baby boy <3

time really flies so fast with you :D
love that I surprised you today at work :D
with you not expecting me and I got to see your shocked face
just wanna say
I love you baby boy <3

yello jello

2010-12-03T23:59:00.003+08:00

Spent the day at Tamp 1 doing nothing again
with the boy promising me to find me in the afternoon
but then it started raining real heavily
and he got stuck at home :(
then D & G came over to find me so that we could do C's giant card together
they managed to persuade my mom to let me go yello jello with them :D
told the boy about the last minute change of plans
which caused him to change into nicer clothes
trained to city hall and walked over to clarke quay with the girls
stopped at Central to grab dinner with them
ended up eating at the market at B1
the food was pretty alright and the price was pretty cheap as well
headed over to yello jello and had my usual cosmo
while C had monkey brains D had slippery nipples G had an orgasm
and when the boy came the girls ordered 6 six jello shots
2 each for them and the boy ordered a jug of jello freeze and 2 jello shots
just cause he wanted to see me down a shot
can't say i love drinking because to me it reminds me of antiseptic
but the shot wasn't too bad
after that alcoholic D & G decided to go cafe Iguana to continue drinking
while me, the boy and C caught a cab back
dropped off C first at her place and headed back to mine
the boy sent me up to my floor before going back
really really love these small things he does
it speaks so much more then giving me extravagant gifts
cause it just shows how thoughtful he is
Love the boy so much! Kaiden Teo <3
will upload photos after I edit this post :)

germs bday photos

2010-11-23T23:25:00.005+08:00

ok these are the photos from G's birthday
super belated I know
with quite a few photos with funny expressions

Deathly hallows

2010-11-22T22:54:00.002+08:00

As are coming to an end soon
had another chem and bio paper
now I'm left with a bio paper next thurs
caught harry potter and the deathly hallows today with D & G
the show was great but I couldnt really say I totally enjoyed it
the day started off as pretty ok bef turning pretty bad
to the extent that I really wanted to cry
but after spending the time talking to the girls
and pigging out on ice cream from Swensen's
I felt a lot better before parents had to ruin the day again
so to sum it up
my day for today sucked pretty badly
booze and cigs would have helped
at least help numb me so I won't feel so miserable

chem p2

2010-11-16T23:04:00.002+08:00

Argh chem paper sucks again!
it was so terrible :(
with mainly organic chem questions
and questions which needed deductions and assumptions
o well there's nothing I can do about it anymore
anyway got the boy to go down with me to funan
so we secured our jobs at sitex :D
can't wait to work and have a bit of income to spend!
sucks being poor and having to rely on parents for money
and then being told to stop spending and save
with all the nags and everything
its just so annoying
love spending money I earned myself
don't have to listen to all the crap makes me feel independent
and I love the feel of being independent!

best thing

2010-11-14T23:16:00.003+08:00

One of the best things in the world
is just to lie in the arms of the person you love
and just sleep together with no worries
feel the warmth of each other under the blankets
and have a good sleep that soothes the both of you
without a thought about anything else
and in my case As were thrown out of my head temporarily
it really is a very nice feeling
2 more days to another dreaded chem paper :(
sucks to have it nearing now :(

with the boy

2010-11-13T23:51:00.003+08:00

Spent the day with the boy again :D
not that I'm complaining
I simply just can't get enough of him
he just perks my day and makes me laugh and be happy
thats the most important thing for finding your other half
in my opinion that is :)
finding someone who can make you laugh and be happy
is so much more than finding someone who can provide for you
but not being able to make you happy
ok enough with me side tracking
anyway I had dinner with him and his family
its pretty funny having dinner with them
its like what I eat he doesn't eat
and what I eat he doesn't eat
so we end up pinching each other's food
plus today his family bought chinese mitten crab 大闸蟹
and we had really fresh crabs for dinner
just that his maid undercooked some of them
and some pretty funny things happened
never gets boring while spending time with him :D

maths

2010-11-12T23:06:00.002+08:00

Had maths paper today and yesterday
the paper yesterday sucked badly
while the paper today was pretty ok
if I'm lucky I should be able to get the grade I want
on a side note
I think all the damn stupid idiotic J1s should learn to shut up
they just scream and talk real loud during our papers
ever seen the notice board that says:
"silence examination in progress" ?
can't read or simply just can't understand?
seriously I hope you all will have karma next year
and when you all have your As next year
I hope that it will be so noisy so you all can't concentrate
just like what you all did to us this year
and that your grades will suffer and you totally deserve it

2 month

2010-11-10T23:49:00.003+08:00

Happy 2 months baby boy <3

hope you like you little handmade gift :D

Had GP papers and another bio paper today
a very hectic day :(
GP in my opinion was quite okay
it wasnt so tough and quite manageable
bio paper on the other hand wasnt that great
o well now its over
and there's nothing I can do about it

the child's eye

2010-10-24T23:57:00.002+08:00

Caught the child's eye with the boy and zhi zhong
not a fan of the horror/thriller genre
so I was forced to go by the boy
who wanted to scare me badly :(
but turns out the show wasnt all the bad
since I had hands over my eyes when gory parts came out
hung out at Ehub all day
As are coming soon :(
need to study!!

Com crashed

2010-10-23T23:55:00.001+08:00

Bloody com crashed and now I reformatted the damn thing
and all my pics and music and everything are gone
FML real bad

graduation day

2010-10-22T23:03:00.001+08:00

GRADUATION DAY!!!

finally graduated from the stupid green triangular school!
waited so long for this day to come
but sadly its a sad day too
I'll miss my class 09S04 with the awesome people in it
mainly the girls C D & G and our "sister" guy clique ACGJ
the people who made the 2 years in tpjc bearable
especially in class :D
even though sometimes in class it was kind of distracting
I'll miss having fun doing nonsensical things in school
I'll miss G with all her funny episodes
I'll remember G spitting chocolate at D and the table flipped
I'll miss C for being mongkey and running around all the time :P
I'll miss D who is now a converted gossip girl fan :D
I'll miss A for being so wacky and as what paolo says act cool :P
I'll miss C for always going zzz in class HAHAHA
I'll miss G for being so hyperactive all the time
I'll miss J for being so gay and saying sorry to his muscles :P
plus there's also a lot more people I've miss
people who have became my friends
the people that hang at the HDB flats during our noon breaks
now its time to strive and work hard for me
don't know if I can do it but I'll try no matter
ok no I got to tell myself I can
I CAN DO IT!

germs bday

2010-10-14T22:10:00.001+08:00

Happy Birthday Germsy!!! <3

Will update all the photos soon :D

1month

2010-10-10T22:17:00.002+08:00

Time flies so fast and now there's only about a month
a month till As come
and not long after As will be gone too
been losing the mood to blog
cause everything else is just more interesting
and overwhelming me hence the neglect
but I'm sure my drive to blog will come back soon
on a side note

Happy 1 month my boy <3

hypocritical

2010-10-01T22:39:00.002+08:00

Missed out more blogging for a week or so
since I havent felt much of an urge to blog
life has been going great though :)
that is minus the hypocritical girl
who dares to say something but doesnt dare to admit it
plus denying that she said anything
why would she care about anything that I say?
because your guilty conscience is acting up
you know it said it thats why you know I'm talking about you
too bad that you pissed me off
and get this straight this is between you and me
if you want to drag others in I will do the same
this is a girl matter guys will jolly well know to stay out of it
you had better get your story straight
because you have lots of talking to do already
and I wont give you a chance anymore
the chance was given today
one thing is I hate liars plus hyprocrites
if you had admitted to saying it
I would have let you off
giving face to the people who told me to go easy on you
I gave you a chance but you threw it away
so right now I'm just gonna continue mind fucking you
and play this little game with you
if you have anything to say
say it to me instead of trying to get some help from others
by telling the things you want to tell me instead
my number is on facebook dont tell me you cant see it
ok aside from this matter which is pissing me off
its been great hanging out with the girls C D & G
plus seeing my shan a couple of days back
i just need more fun laughter and joy in my life :D
plus its awesome having K too <3
he just makes me laugh nonstop (its a good thing)
and I feel so comforted with him around :)
I need them to distract myself from my horrendous prelim results
time to start studying again
need to study and have to study
signing off :)

results

2010-09-22T22:21:00.002+08:00

Starting to get back prelim papers
and therefore starting to know our grades
can't say mine are any good
considering I haven't been studying
plus I've been rather distracted
guess I need to buck up and study

back to school

2010-09-21T23:14:00.000+08:00

Back to having lessons :(
thankfully there wasnt any IR so ended school early
went for subway with D & G
missed eating subway and it feels good to have it
D & G drank coke finally after months
and to them coke tasted heavenly and refreshing
pretty funny actually
feels pretty good to just hang out for a short while
I guess I've been missing out on girl time
Note to self: have more girl time

steamboat

2010-09-20T22:30:00.003+08:00

Last paper today was biology paper 1
having a pretty cute feeling about it :)
considering I finished the paper in like 50mins
after the paper ended headed out to find K at crossfire
and we ended up taking a cab with Oscar to Katong for steamboat
with the other guys Abel Terry Joey Jian Nan
steamboat was awesome and me being the only person
who can't take spicy food :(
got bullied cause of that :(
went off to a place nearby to play monopoly deal
with Terry having beginner's luck
then headed back to Tamp for ice cream :D
Love New Zealand Natural's Chocolate Ecstasy
Its real heavenly to me even though K says its super sweet
its such a good way to mark the end of prelims :D
but not so good for my diet
there goes my diet with steamboat and ice cream
I think I have an addiction to ice cream now :D

resident evil

2010-09-17T22:37:00.002+08:00

Chemistry paper 1 today was ok I guess
I should pass I think :D
went to crossfire with K again
and resident evil later on in the afternoon
there was this loony dude on the bus
when we were going to pasir ris from tanah merah
since it was pretty obvious and he was from metta
K almost lost his temper and punched that guy
since he was pretty annoying and kept disturbing me
went to white sands for my chicken bites from water rise :D
it so addicitve and after that we headed over to Ehub
resident evil was pretty ok I guess
some parts were real sudden
and caught me off guard but other than that
I guess the movie from pretty normal
extinction is a lot better than afterlife
and I think there's still another sequel coming along
since they left a suspense at the end
o well hopefully the next one will be better
after that popped over to simei to play with shasha again :D
she's too adorable to leave alone
and that pretty much sums up my day :D
can't wait for prelims to be over soon!

town with shan

2010-09-16T21:30:00.002+08:00

Went out with Shan today to far east
so that she could get her mani done
unexpectedly saw pearl there with her posse
that dumb girl has even more tattoos than before -_-
i just think she's nuts again for having so many
after that headed down to 313 for some shopping
saw a few nice pairs of leggings
but cash strapped so no clothes for me :(
shan got this top form F21 which looked pretty good :)
but after a while we both just got bored
since town is just the same as ever
and Singapore is sooooo boring
we left pretty early and I went to find K instead
hung out for a while before heading back home
he makes my day <3

maths P2

2010-09-15T22:13:00.002+08:00

Maths paper 2 sucked big time today
it was just plain tough and I ended up dozing off
I swear my life just sucks
I need to buck up and study more
need to change my habits
need to spend less time on the computer
buts a little hard to do so :(
anyway headed over to crossfire again
there was supposed to be a movie after that
but the guys changed their mind so ended up with no movie :(
after that headed to Simei for food
had my Istanbul laksa and Chocolate ecstasy from New Zealand Natural!
Heavenly and sinful food :D
after having that laksa at like 6plus
I reach home and have to eat another round of dinner
now I'm just feeling super full and fat :(
and there goes my diet :(

chem paper

2010-09-14T21:08:00.000+08:00

Chemistry paper today and I'm flunking it
I didnt study for it so its expected
I'm just screwing my own life up
headed over to crossfire with K
and saw Ru & Kram & gang there
it seems like they frequent there a lot
anyway when I took the train home
I heard the most horrific thing ever
the train announcement went like:
"Train is coming Train is Coming ....."
it was just plain gross and I definitely think
the old announcement is sooooooo much better!
the new one only serves to embarrass us further
its so humiliating!
I have no idea why the hell SMRT would wanna play such stuff
I think they are such weirdos for having such a weird announcement

bio econs paper

2010-09-13T20:03:00.000+08:00

Bio paper was kinda ok I guess
but definitely screwed up econs
doesnt help that there was a suden onset of cramps :(
FML

study study

2010-09-12T23:54:00.001+08:00

Went to meet with K to study
since his econs is good and mine is just plain bad
but I guess after a while studying econs wasnt apppealing at all
bored the hell outta me so I ended up playing with shasha
the most adorable thing on earth :D
On a side note I love fiji water
and I hate that ntuc doesn't have it

taiwan fest

2010-09-11T22:48:00.002+08:00

Tuition in the morning again
and I was late :( blaming it on late nights
and me with no motivation to wake up early during weekends
I wake up at 6.20am on weekdays
no way I'm waking up early for weekends
anyway after that headed back home
and mom ended up wanted to go to a Taiwan fest at Clarke Quay
but had to wait for sister to wake up before we go
she ended up waking up at 4 -_-
so by the time we left the house it was 5
headed over to CQ and the place was packed
and it was damn fucking hot the sun was just blazing FML
and the system sucked since we had to buy coupons
and use coupons to get the food troublesome much
so we forsaked it and went to Liang Court for food instead
went for Ramen at one of the Jap restaurants there
and went home after day
pretty much a day wasted except for the food
but on the way back mom just had to piss me off again
saying that I can't work at IT shows again
just because she's prejudiced
and feels that everyone there are just hooligans
or whatever according to her
when they are not and are actually nice people
she's just trying to control my life again
and I swear she's just being a pain in the ass
after As I'm not gonna be controlled
I will do whatever I want and like

Mich chalet

2010-09-10T22:41:00.002+08:00

Met up with Shan & Lincoln for a short while at DTE
while waiting for Reena to head over to Mich's chalet
my pretty babe is turning 18 soon :D
had K coming with ZZ to accompany me at the chalet
stayed for a while and chilled
before heading opting for aircon at Ehub
at the arcade and at Kbox
I think Ehub is just gonna be next hangout place

shasha

2010-09-09T23:12:00.002+08:00

Went to school to find G so she could have her econs notes
then headed over to find K so I could play with shasha :D
she's the most adorable little thing ever
so small and fragile and being able to carry with just 1 hand
so pretty and most importantly she likes me :D
but time spent with her was so short :(
K brought her home soon after cause its his mom's birthday
he had to celebrate with his mom :)
there's always a next time :)

kbox

2010-09-08T22:52:00.002+08:00

Studied at Coffee bean again today by myself
covered market failure and surprisingly understand everything
but then I got bored after studying for like 2hours
so headed to the arcade to cheer myself up
while waiting for K and friends to arrive for Kbox session :D
Kbox session was a blast with them
I swear I have never laughed so much
and truthfully some of them can really sing :D
bunch of people who can actually say the funniest stuff too
so dont judge a book by its cover
because behind it there's always something to be discovered :D

superdog

2010-09-07T22:41:00.002+08:00

Went to coffee bean to study
but turns out that place was packed and Haris was there
flirting with some girl hahaha (dont kill me)
so ended up going superdog with K to study instead
it was pretty productive and I managed to read through econs
refreshed microeconomics through my mind
and I think I might just be able to handle it

econs

2010-09-06T23:01:00.002+08:00

Econs crash course today
it wasnt too bad and it did help a little
but then due to the stupid classroom
it just made my nose allergies worse
and I ended up with a runny nose & headache
so ended up not studying and wanted to go home
but gave up going home since I'll see my mom
who no doubt find some way to annoy me
then I wanted to get out of school
so ended up going crossfire with K
and I played the spongebob version of run kitty run :D
its been so long since I last played it
but thankfully some of my skills are still there :D
after As I'm so gonna master dota :D

crossfire

2010-09-05T22:55:00.000+08:00

Another day filled with laughter :D
hung out at crossfire with K & his friends
its quite funny watching him play
makes me wonder what am I doing with my life
why the hell am I sulking and being depressed
when there are things that can make me laugh and be happy

going the distance

2010-09-04T22:39:00.002+08:00

Caught going the distance with K and his friend
its a pretty nice movie with a lot of humour
ok make it mostly sexual humour
but hey it was funny
I think its worthy of watching :D
after that headed down to Kbox at Ehub
its quite funny how K was singing
and I ended up laughing all the time =X
but hey at least he makes me laugh
and forget about unhappy things
today was a day well spent :D

maths paper

2010-09-03T10:53:00.002+08:00

Alright math paper sucked
definitely failing it so I'm not gonna talk about it
went out with Kaiden Alson & Chun how for pool!
its been so long since I last played it
well my skills were still sorta existent
so I could play ok
its funny playing pool with them
balls flying out of the table, slow balls and everything
I really needed today
since its been so long since I last had any fun
or for the sake of enjoyment
its such a tough life right now :(

Your reflection in the mirror

2010-09-02T23:34:00.004+08:00

Bio paper today and I couldnt finish the paper :(
not too hopeful for me
after that headed to tuition to salvage my math
but I think it wont help :(
went to simei to meet Kaiden to teach him math
saw Azam & Joel there studying at Starbucks too
kinda funny seeing their facial expressions
but I think I'm failing the paper tomorrow
since I have no idea how to do most of the questions :(
wish me luck :D

----------------------------------------------------------------
Letter to myself (Last letter)

Dear Me,

I stare at my own reflection
and boy have I changed so much
especially for these past few weeks
from being depressed to happy and depressed again
having a life that changed so much
sometimes I have no idea what I want
I don't exactly recognise myself anymore
and it scares me that its the truth
maybe I'll change again back to my old self
thats when my reflection will be normal
not seeing something eating me inside out

Yours truly

The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to

2010-09-01T23:54:00.003+08:00

No school today and I just went to study
or should I say attempted to
met up with Cherng ru & Akram to study at Ehub Coffee bean
but ru had to leave early and I was getting bored
ended up not studying much
then headed over to vick's to study instead with Alan
studied a little and gave up not long after
I'm afraid I just suck in studying :(

------------------------------------------------------------
Letter to someone I want to tell all my deep dark secrets to

I have no idea such I person existed
cause I tell my secrets to my bff

Someone that changed your life

2010-08-31T23:47:00.002+08:00

No school but headed back to consultation
and wasted my entire day away after that
hung out with vick & raj
and that pretty much sums up my day

----------------------------------------------------------
Letter to a person who changed my life

I have no idea who this person is going to be so no letter

The friendliest person you knew for only one day

2010-08-30T22:24:00.002+08:00

GP wasnt all that bad I guessed
but Chem paper 3 I'm pretty sure I'm flunking it
hate myself for being like this
being so not motivated and being a lazy ass

---------------------------------------------------------
Letter to the friendliest person I knew for only a day

Quite impossible to write since the friends I know last me
except for certain people who spew bullshit

The last person you made a pinky promise to

2010-08-29T21:33:00.002+08:00

Tomorrow is the start of prelims :(
I'm so dead

------------------------------------------------------------------
Letter to a person I last made a pinky promise to

Can't remember who I last made a pinky promise to
so no letter

The person you know that is going through the worst of times

2010-08-28T23:07:00.002+08:00

Tuition in the morning as usual
came back home with no mood
considering I had a dream about RKYQ last night
and in the dream I was real happy
over what I do not know
but I felt happy like I've never been for ages
but sadly everything is just a dream
and it vanishes in a poof
now I just can't help but keep thinking about you
not exactly what I need right now at all
please get out of my thoughts soon
cause all I get from you is just tears now

-----------------------------------------------------------
Letter to person who is having a tough time

Dear Girl,

I'll stand by you no matter what
even if your friend disappears
you know you'll always have the girls
we'll stick by you and help you out
feel sad just text or call me
i'll keep you company
thats what the anti dicks club is for :)

With love,
Ferlin <3

The person that gave you your favorite memory

2010-08-27T22:51:00.002+08:00

Went back to school again to study and for consultation
finally cleared up some of my questions
and I feel productive
FML for attempting to take out my ear stud on wednesday
now its swollen and hurts a bit more :(
studied in the noon with vick & raj
before going to the airport with yong jing
airport studying wasnt productive
but it was quite funny and cracked me up
since I havent been laughing much
considering my foul mood and everything
played monopoly deal and big 2
allowed my gambler side to come out :D
thankfully I havent lost my skills

------------------------------------------------------------------
Person who gave me my fav memory

Dear Guy,

My favourite memory would of course be happy memories
I want to relive those happy days with you
but sadly I know they wont ever happen again
it just makes me feel sad that things turned out like this
every happy memory I had with you
is my favourite memory
they link up to form a film in my mind
and they just keep replaying
memories which are supposed to make me happy
are now just making me more sad

Yours truly,
Ferlin

last person I kissed

2010-08-26T22:46:00.002+08:00

No school today but I still went to school
studying with vick failed
considering I preferred going out of school
and ended up spending my time there instead
its like my brain doesnt wanna work
and hence studying is equal to not studying

--------------------------------------------------------------
Letter to last person I kissed

Dear Guy,

You know who you are :)
and thats good enough

Yours truly,
Ferlin

Someone you want to give a second chance to

2010-08-25T22:40:00.002+08:00

Skipped school and went to study
was pretty productive I guess
right now all I feel is that
life is so mundane so boring
I dont know the reason for my existence

------------------------------------------------------------
Letter to a person I would give a second chance

Dear person,

I would love it very much for you to be back in my life
but I dont know if that will be possible
but no matter what
I would give you the second chance you deserve
but I guess you wouldnt know it
since I dont think you read my blog anymore
since you have better things to do with K
and more art works to complete

With love,
Ferlin

someone I judged

2010-08-24T21:21:00.002+08:00

Had my vice today and felt a little better
enjoyed the company of the vice buddies :)
but missed eighteen chefs with the girls
since I didnt feel like eating
and I'm quite adamant about losing weight
so I can be skinny old me again
either by not eating or eating a lot lesser
anyway had my ear pierced today with C :D
I'm a happier girl now
gonna pierce my other ear soon enough
when I feel down and feel like it
surprisingly it wasnt as pain as I imagined it
quite tolerable instead
I think I might just drag G to go repierce her ear
G if you're reading this be prepared :D
its weird to only wear a ear stud on one ear my girl
anyway went to Ehub coffee bean to study after that
wasnt very successful but then at least me & C felt better
after confiding in each other about stuff
life still sucks right now
and I shall hope for it to turn better soon

-------------------------------------------------------------
Letter to someone I judged by their first impression

Can't be bother with this
To hell with it

guy who broke my heart hardest

2010-08-23T23:15:00.000+08:00

Life is still the same old same old
but was in a bad mood today
so I pretty much just snapped at some people
being tired out with work
and having tuition after school
I just don't have enough time for all the things
I'm going back to my vice and I want to pierce my ear
hopefully they'll make me feel better

-------------------------------------------------------------
Letter to the guy who broke my heart the most

Dear R,

I guess its obvious its you
considering I wrote a letter to you some days ago
I loved you the most and it hurt the most too
learning so much after that day
really messed me up bad
I fell in love with you and was real happy
but who knew that happiness couldnt last
I wished it would have lasted for an eternity
but it is nothing but wishful thinking
and truth to be told
I still miss you every now and then
when I stumble upon places we used to frequent
or when memories about us just resurface
happy times and bad times alike
I don't regret any of it

With love,
Ferlin

someone who pesters me

2010-08-22T21:12:00.002+08:00

Letter to someone who pesters me

Dear Guy,

Give me a break will you.
You trying to help me be less suicidal
has the opposite effect and has made me worse
you cheesy corny lines are making me have goosebumps
and I do not appreciate it at all
its making me more annoyed angsty and moody
you and me barely know each other
stop tryng so hard cause it creeps me out.
TYVM

Sincerely,
Ferlin

someone i wish i could be

2010-08-21T22:08:00.003+08:00

Went for bio lesson in the morning
had a light lunch with D & G & marcus
which consisted of a hash brown and a cup of tea for me
went back home and mom said going out for lunch
so changed and went back to Tamp (FML)
lunch with aunt and mom at Crystal Jade
but I only ate a small bowl of porridge
in the hopes of keeping to my diet plan
then headed to funan to give shan stuff
and visited the guys & my "mommy"
a series of events occured and made me so frustrated
practically ran up and down funan :(
and the guys laughed at my misery
and my funny expressions again :( :(
got home and attempted to study
but it wasnt real successful
to sum everything up
my life just sucks right now

--------------------------------------------------------
Letter to a person that you wish you could be

Dear Blair Waldorf,

I wish I could be you, always looking gorgeous.
I love the way you carry yourself
with poise and elegance and I envy you.
I love the way you dress and are able to singlehandedly
bring back the hairbands
You may be manipulative but it shows you have brains too
you are smart and have gorgeous girlfriends
I love your wit and sense of humour
and how you enjoy watching breakfast at Tiffany's
watching retro shows and having audrey hepburn as your idol
you are indeed one of a kind and I honestly and truthfully
wish I could be you.

With love,
Ferlin

someone from my childhood

2010-08-20T21:12:00.002+08:00

Spent the day at Funan
talking to the colleagues with them laughing at me :(
cause of my dilemma :(
they all didnt warn me at all no fair!
now I have to go through all this
and make me feel as though I'm a bad person
I think I have too much guilt conscious sometimes
BOO HOO!

----------------------------------------------------------------
Letter to my childhood friend

Please refer to my letter to someone I drifted away from written below :)
Its the same person :)

Someone out of the country

2010-08-19T21:07:00.002+08:00

I'm sick with fever flu sore throat and stuff
you name it I have it (anything associated with flu only)
sucks to be me right now

-----------------------------------------------------------
letter to a person not in SG

Dear male bff :D ,

I miss you so much! Been ages since I last talked to you
let alone seen you :(
sadly we werent able to meet during June
our busy hectic schedules :(
I cant wait to finish my As so you'll be back in SG to visit
you can take me out while you drive again
and you can bring me star gazing
and we can stuff our faces with food :D
I'll find a chance to visit you in the states
so you can be my tour guide and show me around
you can drive me to the other states
and I'm pretty sure we'll have so much fun :D
but for now just hurry up and come back
so that we can catch up on our lives :D

With love,
Ferlin <3

Person I miss most

2010-08-18T20:59:00.002+08:00

Starting to feel pretty sick
been sneezing my nose off for the whole day
body temperature isnt normal too :(
was dying by the time only half the day was over
left early because I really couldnt take it any longer
went to TM to get my scheduler and I think it looks pretty
suits me pretty well
ironically it writes "I love you" on the cover
but I dont have anyone to love
or actually I do whom I still love deep down
who I still have a soft spot for
I guess that cant be helped
since he really did mean a lot to me
anyway got home bathed blogged
and now its bed time
I honestly feel a fever coming up

-------------------------------------------------------------

A letter to a person I miss most

Dear _______,

I just want you back as the person I first knew
you were my friend and we clicked the most
now you've changed and I dont recognize you anymore
let go of your sorrows and stop being so hung up
I need the old you back
not the you who is changing for everyone's preferences
I need the spunky old you back
I need only honesty

Yours Truly,
Ferlin <3

someone i drifted away from

2010-08-17T22:45:00.000+08:00

Spent the whole day moping in school
and sorta vented my anger by punching vick
sorry vick I guess ur back hurts a little
but it helped me
and I do feel a lot better now :)

---------------------------------------------------------------
A letter to a person I drifted away from

Dear girl,

we were such good friends when we were young
sadly you had to switch schools and we couldnt maintain
our friendship which I feel is a great loss
we were so tight and had so much fun together
we visited each other's houses almost every weekend
but now we almost strangers
a sad fact but its the truth
but then I never regretted having you in my life

Yours Truly,
Ferlin

Someone to forgive me

2010-08-16T22:29:00.003+08:00

You are an important person to me
but when will you realise that
for a friendship to work it goes both ways?
you actually need to care for someone else too
not just give them superficial concern
thats not what I need
I actually need some real care and concern
which is what my JC girls are giving me right now
you may say your life sucks
but what about mine?
I'm actually fighting to save my sanity here
your problems are just the same things over and over again
you just need to let go and stop being so hung up upon things
everyone has problems but if yours is an ever present problem
it means you need to solve it or forget about it
instead of moping about it
it doesnt do you good nor does it do anyone good
its just detrimental to everyone
you need to stop caring about him
at this rate not even I can save you
I'm tired of constantly trying to wake you up
there's only a certain amount of things I can do for you
if you yourself dont wake up from this vicious cycle
nothing I do can help you
my help is limited and you will just suffer more
why cant you see things more logically
dont be blinded by something you used to have
its no longer existent and longing for it
will just make you more miserable
wake up and get over it and you'll see a better life
as for us whether our friendship will hold
it depends on how much you actually do care
because only sincere care and concern can fix things
this time I need honesty only

--------------------------------------------------------------

A letter to someone who I wish could would forgive me

Dear non existent person

you don't exist cause there's nothing that I do
that I don't mean so there's nothing to be forgiven

Gleefully,
Ferlin

someone who I detest

2010-08-15T22:04:00.003+08:00

A letter to someone I hate

Dear person whom I detest,

you'll probably never realise it that you hurt me
cause its not physical pain
but emotional pain in fact
it hurts a lot more than physical pain
but I guess you don't know it
I will resent you for all time to come
I don't want to have contact with you
nor talk to you nor see you
I wish you'll never ever appear in front of me again
but I guess its hard to happen
you betrayed my trust in you
you used our friendship
and for that I curse the day you were born
as said by Charlotte York in Sex and the City
I hope you die soon

With hate and spite,
Ferlin

a deceased person

2010-08-14T23:16:00.005+08:00

Econs lesson early in school today
followed by tuition and a day out with the girls :D
its been quite a while since C D & G and me went out
went to our usual place :D
which is cafe Iguana of course
I had 1.5 glasses of frozen strawberry margarita
while C D & G had 1.5 of frozen strawberry M. and
2 glasses of lime margarita
and 2 shots for C and 3 shots for G
the 3 of them are crazy
went out for alcohol as an attempt to drown our sorrows
have loads of funny photos which I'll post tomorrow
it was an awesome night out
till mom had to ruin it and make me so depressed
making me more suicidal than ever
and honestly making my life miserable
I wouldnt be surprised to see myself being found dead
due to an OD or from slashing my wrist or from jumping

------------------------------------------------------------------
Letter to a deceased person I'll like to talk to

Dear Grandma,

You passed away just a little over a month ago
and I still miss you very much
I still remember how you used to bring me out as a kid
and show me off to everyone in the neighbourhood
you bought me toys and teached me how to play mahjong
and I've fallen in love with mahjong in fact
its seems like I just saw you yesterday
but in reality I know I won't ever see you again
you'll live in my dreams, memories and in my heart
I hope you're happy now since you're reunited with Gramps
last but not least I love you very much!

With loads and loads of love,
Ferlin

someone i dont talk to enough

2010-08-13T23:10:00.002+08:00

Dear Someone I don't talk to enough,

there's plenty of you that this letter would be for
so its just gonna be a general letter to all of ya
I guess sometimes my schedule is too hectic
and there's not enough time for me to communicate
with each and every one of you who are my friends
I need more than 24hrs in a day
then I'm sure I'll have enough time for everyone :)

With love,
Ferlin

someone i could meet

2010-08-12T22:52:00.002+08:00

Dear Leighton Meester,

you are someone I wish I could meet
I love how you act in Gossip Girl with Blake Lively
I love your dress sense and how you singlehandedly
brought back the hairbands and your school girl style
I love how your voice sounds in songs
and how gorgeous you look in every outfit
You have the perfect figure and hair and looks
no girl can ever ask for more.
sadly I'll only meet you in my dreams
can't wait for Gossip Girl season 4 to be out
I'll always support you! <3

With Love,
Ferlin

Internet friend

2010-08-11T22:35:00.002+08:00

Dear best internet friend,

you know who you are :D
you have a cute name and I mentioned it before
I told you about all my boyfriend woes
and you gave me advice on them
you comforted me when I was feeling down
and when I just ranted on how my life sucked
you still listened to me willingly and wholeheartedly
I'm greatful for that honestly :)
you shared your girlfriend woes with me too
about how's she back in the states
while you are here in SG
nonetheless i treasure you as a friend :)

Love,
Ferlin

Ex-bf

2010-08-10T13:59:00.003+08:00

Dear Ex-Boyfriend,

As much as I hate you, I love you too.
The love never disappeared even though I wished it did.
Memories that we had just keeps popping into my mind
its so hard to forget you
the 18 months we had together were still the best
Up till now no one can be compared with you
even though you were overbearing
I overlooked it cause I loved you
Guys I see I compare them to you
even though I know they'll never be you.
What is lost we can never get it back.
I know that now...
I keep seeing "you" recently
I guess I know why its always the same reason
as simple as it is the meaning and truth is in it
I miss you so much but I can't do anything about it already
right now all I can do is just to wish you all the best
and be miserable all my myself.

With Love,
Ferlin

Stranger

2010-08-09T23:54:00.001+08:00

Dear Stranger (Me),

I look at you and I see me
the deep dark side of me, invisible to others
you whisper to me sweet dark nothings
enticing me to go over to you
I look at myself and ask
Do I know you?
Will you drag me down to a place of no redemption?
I don't see myself as the girl I used to be.
now I look at myself and I see a stranger.
Someone I know nothing about, being absolutely clueless
I hate this me.

Ferlin

Dreams

2010-08-08T21:14:00.002+08:00

Dear Dreams,

You led me to believe everything and anything was possible.
I dreamt of being a forensic scientist but then again
now I don't know if it'll ever come true
You gave me the best scenarios one could ever think of
but the next day or moment you could scare me to death
by showing scenes of me dying or jumping down from a building
it cause me to wake up suddenly in cold sweat
wondering what could have triggered it
and if I was still safe ot not.
What will I do if I have no longer have you in my life?
I'm pretty sure it would be mundane and real boring
and I will not have a sense of direction
as to what I need or have to do.
I hope that you'll give me more inspiring things to see
instead of the frightening things you show me sometimes.
No matter what, I need you very much in my life :)

Yours sincerely,
Ferlin

Sister

2010-08-07T23:36:00.002+08:00

Study session with yong jing at MPL today
loads of TPJC students were there
had katong laksa after ages of not eating it
and popped down to ECP to give a certain someone a surprise
and true even enough he was surprised
by just standing there and gawking at me
o well that was the intention :)

---------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Sister,

you and me have a similar genetic makeup
but we look totally different which is weird
we're the total opposites of each other
and I hate how sometimes you annoy me
and wake me up from my sleep by switching on the lights
even though I sometimes hate your guts
I guess I still am quite fond of you
minus all the physical fights we had while we were young
and the scars I gave you during the fights
I'm sorry for always winning the physical fights
(okay maybe not cause it feels good to win)
I hate always being reprimanded for it
because you were always the one to attack me first
but nonetheless, you're my sister
I will try to not get on your nerves
as long as you don't get on my nerves TYVM

Yours sincerely,
Your sister

Parents

2010-08-06T15:55:00.004+08:00

I'm so sick of everything
I'm suffocating and I guess no one can sense it
I want to break down into a million pieces but I can't
how much longer will it take before I become permanently damaged?

P.S can't wait for day 7 to come

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Parents,

Please just leave me alone and stop preaching me.
It just annoys me to no end when you keep repeating stuff
I can hear perfectly well so one time is enough.
you know my character very well if you just keep repeating stuff
it just gets tuned out of my head.
Stop insulting me as a way to encourage me.
It doesnt work that way, it only hurts me more
and makes me not want to study anymore.
for the recent days you make me suicidal
and I'm really contemplating on whether to take my life or not
please just bear in mind that don't go overboard
or I'll just disappear from everyone's life permanently.

Yours truly,
Your annoyed daughter

my crush

2010-08-05T19:00:00.003+08:00

Been having some stomach discomfort for 2 days now
sucks to feel this way
feeling bloated and queasy and some pain
FML very much

P.S If I ever commit suicide blame it on my mom TYVM

---------------------------------------------------------

Dear Crush,

You mesmerize me with that boyish grin of yours.
The girls call you 3.5 :P
I feel like you're perfect for me for now (opinions change)
I don't think that you know that I'm talking about you
maybe its a phase I'm going through
since the guys in my school can't compare to you
I wish I could see you more often
but I guess its not going to happen
on the bright side I'm still glad we got to know each other
and I'm glad to be your friend :D

Signed,
Your Crush

best friend

2010-08-04T21:28:00.003+08:00

Almost got run down by a car today
stupid middle aged man with a bluetooth headset
and talking while driving
continued stepping on the accelerator
even though it was the red light for cars -_-
thankfully I looked twice before crossing
FHL very much
saved my own life today

----------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Best Friend,

I'm greatful for having you in my life
I depended on you while I was in the unhappiest period of my life
you helped me through my saddest moments and problems
especially when I was still with RKYQ
we had fights but then we still forgave each other in the end
you know my deep dark secrets as do I with you
you know how I still can't get over him totally
since I keep telling you this anyway
you need to listen to what I say about you
and ignore the shitty stuff that others stay about you
most importantly I love you very much my babe <3

Yours truly,
Your BFF

letter challenge

2010-08-04T19:46:00.003+08:00

Since (almost) everyone is doing this
I thought I might give it a try
since the subject of the letters intrigue me
and which to some of them I do have something to say to
its gonna be a good opportunity for me to say them :)

WRITE A LETTER TO THESE PEOPLE :

Day 1 — Your Best Friend

Day 2 — Your Crush

Day 3 — Your parents

Day 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)

Day 5 — Your dreams

Day 6 — A stranger

Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush

Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend

Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet

Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to

Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to

Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain

Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you

Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from

Day 15 — The person you miss the most

Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country

Day 17 — Someone from your childhood

Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be

Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad

Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest

Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression

Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to

Day 23 — The last person you kissed

Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory

Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times

Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to

Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day

Day 28 — Someone that changed your life

Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to

Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror

Itacho again

2010-07-31T21:14:00.002+08:00

Tuition in the morning as usual
then headed out to orchard to find S. Bong & Grace C
had lunch at Itacho and had a great time
giggling or laughing throughout the whole meal
since there were embarrassing moments that happened
considering there was a gorgeous manager there
and S & I just couldnt help but drool while looking at him
walked around ION for a while before walking to Somerset
and I headed home and they went to the flea market at *scape
pretty sad that I had to leave them early
sucks that I'm taking As this year ARGH

eighteen chef

2010-07-29T21:53:00.000+08:00

Deb has been sick for 2 days already
get well soon Deb! :)
you're missed by us!
went for eighteen chefs after IR with G & C
its been soooooooo long since I last ate eighteen chefs
and I absolutely miss the baked rice!
after that we cabbed back to school for night study
sadly we failed to find a classroom that we could exclusively use
so we shared with the girls from our class
really hating the S07 girl who insulted G by saying
"Hey ____, don't waste your time asking G. I think I have the
answers to that question at home. I'll pass it to you tomorrow."
its honestly making me go what the fuck at her
G had the highest maths score for the level
and you're telling the girl who's consulting G not to waste her time?
its more like you're wasting her time instead
since G will do her more good then you will
infuriating people who think they are all that
next time think before you speak
or you'll end up hurting someone else with your words
as for me I do mean what I say
so if my words do hurt a person its intended
and if I don't like a person
most probably words that I say to that person won't be nice

rain

2010-07-28T21:17:00.002+08:00

Its been raining non stop
cold in the morning but hot from noon onwards
drastic weather differences
causing my sinus to act up again
sucks cause its giving me headaches and making me feel grouchy
had night study yesterday
and it was pretty productive since I managed to catch up on work
need to cut down on my time being spent on the computer
its annoying to do so even though I know it'll do me good
and it means I'll blog less often already
till my As are over
my social life has come to a halt for now
with mom lecturing me every other day about it
its driving me up the wall and making me go nuts!
only a matter of time before I break down again

disastrous

2010-07-19T23:48:00.003+08:00

Its back to school for me again
traumatic week before is still leaving me moody
can't say its a good day at all
got pretty much pissed off in the morning
and still a bit irked and peeved about it
went for maths tuition and after that
headed out with the godbros
Roy Kit Kenny & Jian Ming for dinner at Sushi Tei
before having Roy driving us to siglap for Udders ice cream :D
waffle & ice cream were really awesome
food plus ice cream helps put negative thoughts away
can't wait for Roy to be back again :)
miss them so much since its been ages since i saw them

flea

2010-07-17T23:09:00.002+08:00

Went to find Janna at the flea @ Home club with the guys
nice of Linc Luke & Joseph to follow me around
Lehui was there with Janna too
hung around for a while before heading to the Central for lunch
had Waraku with L L
and Linc treated me as a belated birthday gift
thanks a lot :D
all of us ended up with a really full belly
and we walked to funan as exercise to aid digestion
hung around microware as always
and turns out Jenny aka Mummy "Da Jie/Big Sister"
had her nails done and they were gel nails too
same as mine and our designs were about the same :D
like mother like daughter :P
then after that walked to bugis to Iluma
cause Luke needed to pick up his membership card for toys
headed home after that and was back home early
a real tiring day and I have loads to catch up on for school
Damn it! FML period.

worst bday

2010-07-14T23:02:00.000+08:00

Worst Birthday or day ever! Period.

stomach ache

2010-07-10T23:43:00.003+08:00

Had a hell of a stomach ache or should I say PAIN
when I was on my way to tuition
FML type of pain and causing me to break out in cold sweat
so trip to tuition failed
ARGH so much to catch up next week and the week after
stupid pain lasted from morning till now
so its not your average stomach ache
guess I ate something wrong the day before or something
and no I don't think its because of the Wagyu steak I had
anyway had quite a talk with bff Koha today
really grateful for him calling me
just as I asked him and not exactly caring about the bill
plus eating into his sleep
sorry for depriving you of your sleep Koha
listening to his voice and talking to him
just helped to make my mood a lot better
guess thats how much I miss him :(
flight back to HK in about 8 hours time
and the family is still packing
hope I don't forget anything
I'll be back on Friday in the noon
but you people can text me if there's anything up
my phone has roaming activated
just text don't call its expensive if I take calls
and if its important enough I'll text you back :)
See ya when I get back

hollow

2010-07-09T23:54:00.004+08:00

Passed by the day being emotionless
I guess it can't be helped
missed eighteen chefs with the girls
cause I had to go to funan for my cheque
being pressed for time and everything
chilled with the people there for a while
miss seeing the guys as well
having fun and the family feel
anyway went for a late lunch with Dennis after that
had Swensons and it was on him
my super nice supervisor :D
had the Wagyu beef steak there like finally
and it was nice!!
plus I had my strawberry cooler & choco pop cone for dessert
all the food made me feel so much better
in lieu of recent events
I guess I use food to help me feel better about everything
leaving on Sunday so I'm rushing to prepare for stuff
I think I'm so gonna suffer again when I get back to school
being clueless and just shut down in class
since I won't know and understand what the tutors are saying
DRATS!

Oh...
I feel like I've been locked up tight
For a century of lonely nights
Waiting for someone
To release me

You're licking your lips and blowing kisses my way
But that dont mean I'm gonna give it away
Baby, baby, baby
(baby, baby, baby)

Oh whoa...
My body's saying let's go
Oh whoa...
But my heart is saying no (no)

If you wanna be with me, baby
There's a price you pay
I'm a genie in a bottle
You gotta rub me the right way
If you wanna be with me
I can make your wish come true
You gotta make a big impression
I gotta like what you do

I'm a genie in a bottle, baby
Gotta rub me the right way, honey
I'm a genie in a bottle, baby
Come, come, come and let me out

The music's playing and the lights' down low
One more dance and then we're good to go
Waiting for someone
Who needs me

Hormones racing at the speed of light
But that don't mean it's gonna be tonight
Baby, baby, baby
(baby, baby, baby)

Oh whoa...
My body's saying let's go
Oh whoa...
But my heart is saying no (no)

If you wanna be with me
Baby, there's a price you pay
I'm a genie in a bottle
You gotta rub me the right way
If you wanna be with me
I can make your wish come true
Come and set me free, baby
And i'll be with you

I'm a genie in a bottle, baby
Gotta rub me the right way, honey
I'm a geine in a bottle, baby
Come, come, come and let me out

Oh whoa...
My body's sayin let's go
Oh whoa...
But my heart is saying no (no)

If you wanna be with me, baby
There's a price you pay
I'm a genie in a bottle
You gotta rub the right way
If you wanna be with me
I can make your wish come true
You gotta make a big impression
I gotta like what you do

If you wanna be with me, baby
There's a price you pay
I'm a genie in a bottle
You gotta rub me the right way
If you wanna be with me
I can make your wish come true
Come and set me free, baby
And i'll be with you

I'm a genie in a bottle, baby
Come, come, come and let me out

RIP

2010-07-08T21:15:00.002+08:00

R.I.P My Grandma

I'll miss you loads but knowing you're with Gramps
makes me feel better at least you're not alone anymore
and you don't have to feel the pain of cancer
No more hardship for you and may you rest in peace
I'll be coming back to see you soon
I love you Granny <3

return

2010-07-04T22:00:00.004+08:00

Happy birthday R.Boo , Grace. C, Hafiz & RKYQ

cant help but wish you all happy birthday
even though i was contemplating about something
have been sick for the past few days
down with the flu and all the nasty things that come with it
which includes fever, sore throat and that nonsense
been thinking about lots of stuff
and 10 days from now
its gonna be a big day for me or maybe not

ask yourself are you sure that excuse was good enough?
its a matter of controlling your impulses
its not that tough
after all its just an excuse with no substantiation behind it

End of exams

2010-07-01T23:17:00.001+08:00

Exams are all over and i screwed up half of them
well aft the last paper today which was stinking bio
failing for it most probably
went for Seoul Garden with D & G to wolf down food
since we were all damn hungry and that poor me & D had sore throat
so less fried food for the both of us
ate there for like 2 hrs....
dont ask us how we did it but we just did
and by the time we got out
we were so full and any more food would just make us puke
anyway after that we caught Knight & Day
and it was a pretty nice show i think
well at least i liked it
another reason for it would be to swoon at Tom Cruise's bod
his bod is swoon worthy :D
anyway i've been infatuated with Alexander Skarsgård lately
or better known as Eric in true blood he's so hot
and Paul Wesley or Stefan in the vampire diaries
total swoon worthy guys
go google them and you'll see my point :D

goign nuts

2010-06-27T00:16:00.002+08:00

Been sleeping for the past few nights at like 5am
doing nothing but just refusing to go to sleep
studying has not gone well at all
o crap i'm saying hi to night studies again
and bye to life :(
life will definitely suck until As are over

You know tonight
I am feeling a little out control
Is this me
You wanna get crazy
Because I don't give a...

I'm out of character
I'm in rare form
And If you really knew me
You'd know its not the norm

Cause I'm doing things that I normally won't do
The old me's gone I feel brand new
And if you don't like it **** you

The music's on and I'm dancing
I'm normally in the corner just standing
I'm feeling unusual
I don't care cause this is my night

I'm not myself tonight
Tonight I'm not the same girl same girl

I'm not myself tonight
Tonight I'm not the same girl same girl

I'm dancing alot and I'm taking shots I'm feeling fine
I'm kissing all the boys and the girls
Someone call the doctor cause I lost my mind

Cause I'm doing things that I normally won't do
The old me's gone I feel brand new
And if you don't like it **** you

The music's on and I'm dancing
I'm normally in the corner just standing
I'm feeling unusual
I don't care cause this is my night

I'm not myself tonight
Tonight I'm not the same girl same girl

I'm not myself tonight
Tonight I'm not the same girl same girl

In the morning
When I wake Up
I'll go back to the girl I used to be
But baby not tonight

I'm not myself tonight
Tonight I'm not the same girl same girl

I'm not myself tonight
Tonight I'm not the same girl same girl

Yah, that feels good
I needed that
Get crazy
Let's go
That's right
Come on
Give it to me now, don't stop

thought of the moment

2010-06-22T00:49:00.002+08:00

My thoughts for now is just about the same as the song

Been there done that messed around I'm having fun don't put me down
I'll never let you sweep me off my feet
I won't let you in again
The messages I tried to send
My information's just not going in

Burning bridges shore to shore
I break away from something more
I'm not turned on to love
Until it's cheap

Been there done that messed around
I'm having fun don't put me down
I'll never let you sweep me off my feet

This time baby
I'll be bulletproof
This time baby
I'll be bulletproof

I won't let you turn around
And tell me now I'm much too proud
To walk away from something when its dead
Do do do your dirty words
Come out to play
When you are hurt?
There's certain things
That should be left unsaid

Tick tick tick tick
On the watch
And life's too short
For me to stop
Oh baby
Your time is running out

I won't let you turn around
And tell me now I'm much too proud
All you do is fill me up with doubt

This time baby
I'll be bulletproof x5

This time I'll be
Bulletproof
This time I'll be
Bulletproof

This time baby
I'll be bulletproof x4

weird

2010-06-19T22:44:00.009+08:00

Too many things have been running around in my mind
messing me up guess I still need to sort myself out
with bestie telling me of a certain 4 letter acronym
i guess it just brings back even more memories
have been studying for the past few days
but then not much goes in and stays in
really think I'm gonna flunk this SA2
end my already non-existent social life
since i have declined going out with people
feel like life is so sad
but then again it has to go on
been having weird dreams
especially some about 3.5 really weird
but I wouldnt say its bad
anyway I've been listening to a new bunch of songs lately
new on my playlist that is not new as in newly released

playlist goes like this:
1) Miranda Cosgrove - Kissin' U
2) Charice ft Iyaz - Pyramind
3) Snoop Dog ft Kid Cudi- That tree
4) David Guetta ft Fergie, Chris Willis, LMFAO - Getting over you
5) Ciara ft Ludacris - Ride
6) Taio Cruz - Dynamite
7) Christina Aguilera - Not myself tonight
8) La Roux - Bulletproof
9) Esmee Denters ft Justin Timberlake - Love dealer
10) One Republic - Secret
11) Train - Hey Soul Sister

I guess right now these songs just speak to me
or maybe they talk to me about my past
I wanna change...I need to change
I'm gonna cut down on my bad habits
starting with the little white sticks
Maybe learn to be more friendly and smile more
maybe that way I won't look so fierce and unapproachable
gonna be a livelier person and maybe let go of grudges
maybe I can let go of some minor things
but somethings I just can't cause it'll be a big mistake

By the way, the best way to know a girl is by her girlfriends
can't read her, the best solution is to turn to her best girlfriend
that is the only way if she keeps to herself
only her bestie will know what she's thinking and her intentions
as for me I'm pretty my bestie aka Shan/Andrea knows me
just like how I know her well enough
perfect for each other and perfectly good friends <3
I know you'll be reading this anyway
love ya my best friend with loads of hugs and kisses
I know i gave you headaches for telling you too much things
appreciate that you're here for me
Yay to us for turning 18 soon! <3

I want a pair of these!!

P.S Lyrics below described what i used to feel
not what i feel now

Sparks fly it's like electricity
I might die, when I forget how to breathe
You get closer and there's no where in this world I'd rather be
Time stops like everything around me is frozen
And nothing matters but these
Few moments when you open my mind to things I've never seen

Cause when I'm kissin you my senses come alive
Almost like the puzzle piece I've been trying to find
Falls right into place you're all that it takes
My doubts fade away when I'm kissing you
When I'm kissin you it all starts making sense
And all the questions I've been asking in my head
Like are you the one should I really trust
Crystal clear it becomes when I'm kissin you

Past loves they never got really far
Walls up, made sure I guarded my heart
And I promise I wouldn't do this
Till I knew it was right for me
But no one, no guy that I met before
Could make me feel so right and secure
And have you noticed I lose my focus
And the world around me disappears

Cause when I'm kissin you my senses come alive
Almost like the puzzle piece I've been trying to find
Falls right into place you're all that it takes
My doubts fade away when I'm kissing you
When I'm kissin you it all starts making sense
And all the questions I've been asking in my head
Like are you the one should I really trust
Crystal clear it becomes when I'm kissin you

I've never felt nothing like this
You're making me open up
No point in even trying to fight this
It kinda feels like it's love, love

Cause when I'm kissin you my senses come alive
Almost like the puzzle piece I've been trying to find
Falls right into place you're all that it takes
My doubts fade away when I'm kissin you
When I'm kissin you it all starts making sense
And all the questions I've been asking in my head
Like are you the one should I really trust
Crystal clear it becomes when I'm kissin you

karma

2010-06-11T20:31:00.002+08:00

apparently karma does exist
who would believe that people would offend you
if you didnt offend them in the first place
i guess not everyone is your follower
and believes that you're all that
its time you wake up and figure out that
not everything is in your grasp
and that you cant control everything
trying to act all goody two shoes
but being something else at another moment
no wonder you deserve it so much
and to whoever who did it
you have guts to stand up to him
i salute you for it

granny

2010-06-09T20:38:00.003+08:00

Granny is back in hospital again
difficulty in breathing and suffering from acute pain
damn granny dont go just yet
you promised to still be here when i visit again next year
you cant break your promise

Spent the day at L's house and we cooked :D
Steamed prawns with butter and garlic!
Tasted so awesome and i can't wait to cook it again
its mouth watering i swear

end of acad week

2010-06-04T20:35:00.002+08:00

Today marks the end of academic week
saying bye to school for now
cant say i'll miss it at all
cause there is nothing to miss about it
i really do wonder if i made the right choice
and i think i know the answer
which is no.....
my life would have been so much better if i went to poly
i'm very very sure of it

dan

2010-06-02T20:37:00.002+08:00

Met with Dan at Tamp to have a talk
i swear as one of my besties
he's so cool!
no wonder we click so well :D
now i know more about him
and he knows more about me
lucky to have a great friend like him

company of ALL

2010-05-26T22:36:00.003+08:00

Still don't feel well from being sick
so got out of school early
went for lunch with the guys Luke & Lincoln
well basically it was them treating me Sushi Tei
or me making them treat me >.<
felt like exhibition for the whole day
firstly i get to meet the last guy of their class
then Linc's friends just kept staring
and the whole pizza hut incident
gosh embarrassing much!
went to pizza hut after Abbas joined us
so he and Linc could eat
then we were playing monopoly deal halfway
when this waiter came up to me
and gave me this pink balloon folded to resemble a heart
totally embarrassing i swear my cheeks flushed red
when the bill was settled and we were walking out
obviously i had to take the balloon
so i wouldnt look like some bitch
and everyone employee there was just smiling at me
and saying bye to me and a few nice comments
causing all the customers to turn their heads
and look at me... seriously embarrassing
i have never been more embarrassed ever
and the guys have never seen this side of me before
being so embarrassed ans shy as they call it
o gosh.....

Teddy bear dont be mad i'll give up the balloon any day

abbas house

2010-05-22T22:57:00.002+08:00

Had tuition in the morning on a gorgeous morning
it was rainy and so perfect for sleeping in
but no i just had to have tuition :(
after that popped by east link mall to visit gary
then headed home before cabbing to pick Shan up
then cabbing to Abbas's house
Luke and Wilson stayed over at his house the night before
so they were settled in
then we just crashed on the bed with Mr L arms as cushions
and watched movie(s) :D
funny even mentioning it
it was real fun :D
wish i didnt have to leave early though
really spoiled my mood
really hating my parents esp mom

mind cafe

2010-05-21T22:44:00.005+08:00

Got out of school after school ended
headed to the mall to get something
before change of plans and headed back home to change
and rushing out to meet the AALL+W at mind cafe at prinsep
had a pretty fun time laughing till no end
guess i havent laughed wholeheartedly for a long time
so much has been building up inside of me
not feeling happy stressed out bored
i guess everything just makes it worse
talking to akram yesterday made me feel a little better
knowing he's kinda in the same situation as me
i wish sometimes people would grow up
and see everything in a bigger picture
anyway enough digressing back to my day
after that went to the concorde for pool
really really rusty...
since i havent played for real long
after that had to rush down to bugis for late dinner
not that it was fantastic or anything
met hilda babe too :D
its been so long since i last saw her
she's so so pretty right now
i really needed today to bring my spirits back up
i guess i never really mentioned it to you guys
but thanks for being my friends :D
you all cheer me up just by the sight of you :D
i so love you guys :D

P.S i'm only forgiving to a certain extent...
trying my very best to not feel annoyed and flare up
trying my very best to not let my temper through